


He

by Pluperfect_Lover



Series: Parallel Lives [2]
Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:47:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22721194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pluperfect_Lover/pseuds/Pluperfect_Lover
Summary: A piece inspired by Elvis Costello's "She."
Relationships: Timothée Chalamet/Armie Hammer
Series: Parallel Lives [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1633897
Comments: 17
Kudos: 29





	He

**_He_ **

It’s been him for a while now.

i.

**_He may be the face I can't forget_ **

I close my eyes and I see him. I scroll through my phone, he’s there. I walk past a magazine stand, and he’s looking right at me. In my quietest moments, he’s always with me. 

**_The trace of pleasure or regret_ **

I often wonder if it’s worth it. The days, the weeks, sometimes months we go between visits is unbearable. But those fleeting moments we have together makes those lonely, torturous times of separation worth it. 

**_May be my treasure or the price I have to pay_ **

To be in his presence for even a few hours makes the sacrifices worth it. He’s my prince, my king. 

**_He may be the song that summer sings_ **

We were born out of the sun of Crema and cradled in the warmth of a lazy Italian summer. I can’t feel the warm glow of the sun on my face without thinking of our passionate beginnings where chance brought us together. 

**_Maybe the chill that autumn brings_ **

And what cemented us was the never-ending promotional tour. From the last blasts of summer, through the fall, and into winter awards season we were together. What an exhausting gift. Work by day, and love, love, fucking love by night. 

**_Maybe a hundred different things_ **

Whatever bumps and missteps we’ve had, we’ve done them together. From proclaiming our love for each other to complete strangers, to staying up late, and drinking and smoking too much, to the infamous tracksuit meltdown—We were, we are everything to each other. 

**_Within the measure of a day_ **

So while we may not be together as often as we want, we get through—together. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. 

ii.

**_He may be the beauty or the beast_ **

Some may claim they know him, but I know the truth. I know his kind, considerate beauty, who will travel to the ends of the earth to be by my side and comfort me for even a few precious hours, because he knows that’s what I need. But I also know his beast. When the industry gets the best of him and it eats him whole and spits out the leftovers, and all that remains of him is frustration and tears. All he can do is protect himself by spewing out venom—but I know. I know he doesn’t mean it. I know not to take it personally. I know what he needs is for someone to accept him and just love  _ him _ , not the actor, not the celebrity, just him. 

**_May be the famine or the feast_ **

The waiting is agony, but god, do we make up for lost time! His hands, so deft at touching me. He’s memorized a pleasure map of my body. Knowing precisely where to stop. And while the journey takes different paths each time, those hands never miss a destination.

**_May turn each day into a Heaven or a Hell_ **

And his lips. His lips were made for sinful endeavours. They graze my skin, they suck and tease, they whisper such terribly filthy, filthy things into my ears. The world outside our bed has no idea of his insatiable sexual desires. And he’s mine-mine-mine!

**_He may be the mirror of my dreams_ **

There’s no judgement between us. We are our authentic selves when together. His wants are mine; My needs are his. 

**_A smile reflected in a stream_ **

We are the same. We are one. He is me. I am he.

**_He may not be what he may seem_ **

He hides who he is to the world, but he is always true to him and me. There’s never enough time together for us to be anything but honest with each other. 

**_Inside his shell_ **

I’m his cocoon defending him from prying, judging eyes. He is my shield protecting me from the storms of my life, but often the tempests that attack me are within my own mind. 

iii.

**_He, who always seems so happy in a crowd_ **

Often I have to watch him from afar, so seldom now days are we in the same city, but I’m always watching—admiring, loving. He appreciates the adoration of fans and will never take that for granted, but it does wear him down. It is hard for him to accept the praise. It’s lonely to be lost in a crowd.

**_Whose eyes can be so private and so proud_ **

His eyes say so much. His happiness, his frustrations, his achievements, his weariness, his love and so much more are written so clearly in his iridescent eyes. There’s no need for him to ask for anything, because I know everything when our eyes meet. 

**_No one's allowed to see him when he cries_ **

No one thinks they need protecting, no one wants to be vulnerable, but it feels so reassuring that we can let someone look after us when the world has gotten the best of us. To see him cry is a gift I cherish. I know few other have been trusted enough to see him so genuine. 

**_He may be the love that cannot hope to last_ **

Our love is often so hard. Is it worth it? I question, and the answer I always come back with is, “Of course.” Will we be able to make it? I hope, I wish, but I cannot know. But I will hold onto the possibility that we will, and that’s enough to fuel my love. 

**_May come to me from shadows in the past_ **

He haunts me daily. I’m not me without him. What was my life like before Crema? Was I truly living before he walked into my life turning everything I knew upside down?

**_That I remember 'till the day I die_ **

I remember everything. At this point it sounds like a cliché but it’s true. His smile, his playfulness, his joie de vivre—I know him so well—I carry him with me forever.

**_He maybe the reason I survive_ **

And without him, the past few years might have been unbearable. I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like to be on this journey with another person. He’s picked me up and helped me press on. I am where I am because of him.

**_The why and wherefore I'm alive_ **

It sounds like a hyperbole, but without him life would not have meaning. He has made me excited. Every text, every phone call, every DM, every FaceTime chat thrills me. Every hidden-message in social media, hiding in plain sight that only I can decipher, is like writing our names in the sky. 

**_The one I'll care for through the rough in many years_ **

So though I may complain and bemoan our situation, I know I’ll never leave—I can’t. Nor will he ever leave me—he can’t. Our love is too great. 

**_Me, I'll take his laughter, his tears_ **

I’ll take him however he comes to me. And for as many minutes, hours or days we can steal. I will laugh with him, I will comfort him.

**_And make them all my souvenirs_ **

I collect all of our stolen moments and hold onto them during the lean times. I will never take our time together for granted. Maybe our nomadic life is a gift? It makes us appreciate the time we are given. 

**_And where he goes, I've got to be_ **

I know eventually one or both of us will have enough of our separate lives. Subsisting between call to call, will not sustain us forever. And when that time comes, and it is all becomes too much, we will abandon our wandering lives and settle down--together.

**_The meaning of my life is he_ **

I always felt incomplete, like something was missing. I wasn’t unhappy, but then he came along. My life became whole; It turned to technicolour. How did we not find each other sooner? It is not like both of us weren’t searching. Who says parallel lines (lives?) never intersect, because ours thankfully did.

**_He_ **

He has moved into my heart...

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh, this song! It ruins me every time! I’m curious if the boys think about lyrics the same way I do?... I bet you they do. I often wonder if Armie’s Twitter song posts are really coded messages to Timothée?
> 
> Thank you to Elvis Costello who performed the inspiration song, “She". It is featured in one of my favourite rom-coms "Notting Hill" (1999). The inspiration song was written by Charles Aznavour and Herbert Kretzmer.


End file.
